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Archive for August, 2013|Monthly archive page

Corrupt Drive

In Uncategorized on August 26, 2013 at 1:49 am

There it was: Blue screen of death.  Error codes and stalls had handicapped the T23 since the hard drive reached it’s 10 year mark- Dylan shuddered- his EBT benefit wouldn’t come through, he was miles form nowhere and needed the forsaken thing to work.

“Now, there has to be a way. . ..”

Operating system after operating system. The result was nil.

“Useless!”

It was the way it was, had been, and is.  Corrupted drives EVERYWHERE.

The rattling mosaic of flesh turds everywhere crying out for the same resources- since Spokane, Dylan noticed the allure of media fresh shit-  Right after he bought a pound of peanuts from Wal-Shit on Tuesday, peanuts and Wal-Fuck had been appearing in his feed.  That facial recognition shit sure was working well- so much for the Constitution.  Many had to split before the world again regained footing.  Overpopulation was unheard of until 2024 when the human traffic increases to 12 billion and we shit ourselves out ofa world- Yet, everyone wants the same rights and to ‘feel good.’  Well here’s your chance. Shine.

The T23 came to life after the fourth pass and a brand of Linux that was very unpopular.  But it was stable and transmitting.  Now for the data crunch.  Dylan stayed up for a week straight eating and drinking instant coffee and caffeine pills.

He applied for every government program over and over resending the data and rerouting the ip.

The T23 flickered in and out during these times, but the responses flowed back in, we were all promised the same things in life liberty pursuit of happiness and the bullshit we cave to is big, like glacier big or dinosaur big.

Half reflecting in a daze he decided to go for a grant for “the Most Absurd American” which was directed through the NSA, unknowingly but drew it’s resources from US Department of Census.

I guess some idiot had figured out that by finding the most ridiculous mother out there, they could market insanity, then there would be no need for medicine after all we are all horrible genetic mutations of some off-fiendish-divine-hell angel AMERICA((N(S)))

Thus, to get the grant he put his last tofu bruger up on efuckt, and sold the television on craigs-stool.  With the proceeds he bought a package of stamps.  Then, he sold his family to an oil concern in AFREAKA = profit to the soul, with shoddy handwriting- denounced his religion at the hands of MacDooland’s Hamburgers- Pirated his own Facestick account stole his identity three times over reverted his credit score to a negative.

He smeared himself with shit and lit his sandals on fire in front of Star-ripp-off while chocking down a triple grande-soy -fuck mocha and singing ‘America The Beautiful.’

Before they spirited away his grandma, he went to her house and ate all her medication for the month just out of spite and because it’s called for in this cuntry to rip off the elderly and double charge them for their misery.

Changing his sexual orientation to BI-Moth- attracted to light, heat, and open, dirty, sewers was the first thing he did as the new American-ese.

IT GOT SO DISGUSTING AT THE END I CAN’T RELATE, NOR SHOULD ANYONE ELSE.  LET IT BE KNOWN THAT DYLAN PURGED HIMSELF OF THE ‘MERICAN WASTELAND OF EXCESS BY RENOUNCING HIS CITIZENSHIP AND REAPPLYING FOR SAID CITIZENSHIP TO THIS WRECK OF A CUNTRY AS A SURREAL , RELIGIOUSLY PERSECUTED, FALLEN AMERICAN ANGEL, FOR ASYLUM AS AN ‘ILLEGALLY,’ LEGAL ALIEN.

Needless to say it worked, he got the grant, loped off his testis under the tenants of his NEW religion- STOOPID BY PROXY AND DIVINELY PROTECTED SPECIES OF MUTANT PROPAGANDA THAT THE STAR-SHIP ECONOMY IS COMING BACK.

Once that was taken care of it was an easy jump to change his orientation to asexual at the hands of the GOVERNMENT- STUPID WASTE OF TIME FIGHTING WARS THAT SERVICE PEOPLE COULD BE DEFENDING THE HOME-FRONT HERE, LEGACY.  This allowed him to form a tribe and buy back his enslaved inbred cousins.  Happy all around.  Dylan went one step further and righted the economy by removing the penny from the currency system as it costs 2.8 cents to make one cent, then gridlocked the entire nation for a day AS HIS DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE FROM A FEEBLE AND ILL-THOUGHT-OUT FORM OF MASS TRANSIT THAT IS OUTDATED AND CORRUPT AT THE HANDS OF RUINING OUR URBAN INFRASTRUCTURE.

END OF LINE.

Remember- it’s not who we are, it’s who can aspire to own us. . .. SOLIDARITY- ALLEGIANCE.

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